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Larry & Milt's Western Cafe

Comfort food is the promise...

Breakfast for OC weekenders and colorful High Desert locals, but only until they decide to close.

If you are one of those people who have "been called a lot of things, but never late for a meal" then Larry & Milt's Western Cafe may work for you. Strick business hours are only for big city folk, not here. Get here early if you want breakfast (this is not really a lunch spot) as this place tends to close when they want to. And don't try to rush the staff, they do things their way regardless of the wants of the paying guest.

If you show up on a weekend, you'll be greeted by Bess. She's also affectionately known as Grandma. She's a peach. She also is NOT an accountant. If you pay with a credit card, you will be double-taxed. (It's happened to me twice now. I need to remember to bring cash next time.) Yep, she keys in the amount handwritten on your check (which clearly shows tax) and lets the clover system add it again. Don't try to point out the error. I made that mistake the first time and the look I got would make you remember the most stern teacher you had in grade school.

If you partied a bit too much last night the menu will fix all that ails you. No fruit or veg to be had. No sir. We're talkin' basic eggs, bacon and half-cooked hash browns. (Skip them and order the home fries.). Fancy food here is an omelet. If you ask for Coke, Bess will tell you they only have Pepsi, but she will run over to Walmart to buy you some.

You can eat either indoors in an "Oh so cutesie" white boxed room, or at picnic tables out front next to the highway in the sun (and wind.) You may have to park down the way as the Teslas and 4x4s are near the gate in the fence. If you bring your dog, he/she will get lots of love (and a bowl of water.). The local roadrunner has a name, George, and Star, your server, is quick to bring George a piece of bread.

The playlist? None, but you do get to hear a lot of local opinions if you eat indoors, or a lot of loud mufflers if you eat on the front patio.

You may think I didn't like Larry & Milt's, or you may think that I am making fun of the place. You would be wrong on both accounts. While I would prefer a few more healthy menu choices, they provide basic comfort food, quickly and with a great deal of fun personality! Ask Bess if Larry or Milt are around and she will probably tell you "no but I did go bowling with them last night" and "you know, I'm married to both of them!"

The plain and simple promise:

- Breakfast comfort food served quickly

- No frills

- Hard-working people with a lot of fun personality if you are a nice person.

The surprise:

I have it on good word that the biscuits and gravy is quite good!

If you go:

- Yucca Valley is proudly remote, and has a population of about 21,000.

- Larry & Milt's Western Cafe is located about 50 minutes from downtown Palm Springs and 2 hours from LA

- Open 7 days a week, 7a-1p, or maybe a bit earlier

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